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"Pray without ceasing..." - 1 Thess 5:17

Herbert Im sitting here on my chair, knife in hand just thinking. Im pretty sure I want to do it, I mean Ive been there many times in the past to the threshold of life and death so I dont fear death. Well thats not true I fear the cold embrace I always felt before that voice. What I fear is what I leave behind. Before this point I thought I had it all together and living a good life. I have a job, a car, a roof over my head (even though its living with parents until Im financially sound) And a few very good friends. All that isnt enough sometimes. I get this feeling when Im off my meds that I can never be enough for anyone ever. Thats why Ive been abused in my past relationships, it kind of solidifies that all Im good for is being a punching bag. I try to be a good person, Im well groomed, polite, have a goofy personality but behind that is a tortured soul that hopes for happiness, true happiness which I know Ill never see. I want to be stopped, but I dont. I want to be shown what I could live for, but I know there is nothing. Forsaken love is all that is in store for my life. Spend and endure a lifetime of pain, with small hope of happiness or eternal damnation thats all it comes down to. I have a feeling that my guardian angel wont be here to help me this time, kinda like the three strike rule ya know.

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atira hey herbert sumthing to always remeber there is allllways hope no matter what!remeber God got it under control if you give it ALLL to him and wait .....Jesus loves you more than you can ever imagine!a song i recomend for this moment is [light up the sky] by [the afters]

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VickiLemonadeGirl herbert please cal me at 701-657-2131. I know what you are going through. I have fought suicide since I was 8 years old and am now 55. dont let satan steal your joy and the good plan God has for your life. He attacks the ones God wants to use the most through this way of thinking.

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