Katiei need help. i have been very confused lately. i have no one to talk to and i feeel like God is not listening. God took my best friend/ my grandfather away from me four years ago and i am just not starting to get over it. he was my best friend and we could talk to eaach other about anything and everything. i have been depressed for a very long time and still to this day cry myself to sleep at night. i am also depressed because of my relationship with my real best friend lauren. she always hangs out with erin, and my mom doesnt care for erin and neither do i. erin just comes over to laurens house with out warning, and erin s usually the cause for lauren getting in trouble. my mom and i sall erin smoking in her car once, but lauren doesnt beleive me and we confronted erin, but she said she didnt. we even smelt her car, but the awful scent of cats covered it up. I feel very left out when i ask lauren to hang out and she says she is going out with her other friends. I met a couple of her friends, christian, samantha, and melissa (i think) and they were all very nice. it was alot of fun hanging out with them. christian could play the piano so well and it really impressed me. I have more to this prayer too. this summer i am going to france with one of my really good friends shawnnon. it kinda put us financially in the dumps. i babysit and both my parents work good paying jobs, but every time we get some money to spare something goes wrong, like when the kitchen floor colapesed, or when the heater and air conditioner broke, and when the tv broke and never turned on again. lastly i have been really down in the dumps with my health. i have chrondraplamaciah patella syndrome. it is where if i work out too much, my knee cap pops and and goins to the inside of my knee. it is very painful and hard to get back in place. it pops out so easy because i do not have enough tissue and no muscle behind the knee cap. i have three kidneys too. one is a false, but it is still there. i get at least two kidney infections a month and at least one bladder infection every three. i have a very low amune system, no tolerance for pain, athsma, am practically alergic to everything, my dog accidentally stepped on my face, so now i have long claw marks going down the corner of my eye, and this morning i sliced the corner edge of my ring finger off ( i was doing an art project. i am a very artsie person and have entered many contests). I need help please. i would talk to God about all of this, but i feel as if He doesnt care about me. Everything happens to me. I spent my whole third grade year in the hospital, and when i prayed every single day, nothing ever seemed to happen. I fail when i try to learn to play and instrament, and i do awful in school even thoe i want a career like fashin and interior desighn, achitecture, graphic desighn, or teaching elementary. I asked God help for my depression every night for the past four years, and nothing at all has changed. i feel like life means nothing now. i am not suicidal, i just dodnt think life has a purpose any more. and i feel like i keep getting farther and farther away from God. HELP.