Surely weve all experienced this in some sort of way.
We meet a bunch of people, we behave nicely and receive positive feedback. But the moment everyone is gone, our dark side kicks in and we are actually different. How many have experienced this?
Or even on quite a lot of occasions, you speak formally, wisely and kindly but among your friends you use slang, fowl words and do stupid decisions. What sort of Christianity is it?
I myself am no saint nor innocent in this matter. I catch myself writing intelligible things on forums (including this one at times) which I myself do not keep/think about that much. But if you ask why, I can give no answer...
When does your behavior towards society change and why?
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25 replies on this topic
Japlace - 7/29/10 @ 1:54 PM
Very interesting, man.
I do catch myself feeling/acting this way at times. And i give myself the excuse (which im sure all of us do) that im only playing round when i act like a, well as you said, "use slang" and "do stupid decisions". I tell myself that im just acting that way for the moment, and its not really who i am. But if im "acting" this way on more than one occasion, then maybe its becoming more than just an "act". Maybe its becoming as you said a reality.
Marvin - 7/29/10 @ 2:10 PM
You should know this song
Stained Glass Masquerade - Casting Crowns
It is a truly beautiful song as it describes both sides.
We are rarely ourselves in public, I havent seen anyone having a perfect life just because he runs around with a smile on his face at all times.
If youre acting, you arent behaving naturally this means you arent showing people who you really are... This brings us back to Stained Glass Masquerade, would they still be with you?
I have to face this decision almost every day at school. Altar or Stage
Will I perform for them, or will I bow down, just as I am, before the Lord.
Japlace - 7/29/10 @ 2:26 PM
Wow, awesome song reference. Yes, that song describes this topic perfectly. I love that lyric, "Is there anyone whos been there? Are there any hands to raise? Am I the only one whos traded in the altar for a stage?". It really hits you in the gut...hard. Because i know, man do i know that i am guilty of trading the alter for a stage.
You know, i think you would like this sermon i heard last Sunday. I was not in my own church, but in one thousands of miles away from my home. I wish i could tell it all to you, but there is a part that applies to this perfectly:
Everything has a appearance, and everything has a reality. But the two can be miles apart. Be who you appear to be. Strive to make your appearance the reality.
Derrick - 7/29/10 @ 2:38 PM
I think Christians only have this problem. Because of the constant conflict between who they are and who they portray.
Thirst - 7/29/10 @ 2:41 PM
Si. It is strange, I feel more compelled to be Christlike when others are around, not because I want to be good or anything, but because of the other people needing to be shown a little slice of Christ - but when I am alone, I dont feel that need, and thats when things go downhill...
I dont like being alone. Thats when Christ feels most distant, like He was using me to be good to these people, but when that is done, I feel empty. Like my/His kindness doesnt extend to the person I know best, and am disgusted by the most.
To qoute a favorite song, "Morning breaks another day/ Finds me crying in the rain/ All alone with my demons I am"
Its when I am forced to face the truth of my darker side, as you yourself have said, and my flaws are revealed. I feel nothing but shame then.
Its probably why I spend so much time on these forums, where I can fellowship with you guys and share what I know about Christ and learn what you guys know about Christ freely, without fear of condemnation or judgement.
Marvin - 7/29/10 @ 2:57 PM
@ Japlace
I listen to too much music these days and I do not really vary my 648 (estimate) songs that often...
Quite a lot of Casting Crowns songs feel like youve just been sucker-punched... You know it, but youve never taken it as tad serious or maybe didnt even know it was serious...
Sure I would love to listen to that sermon :P
I do not really agree to the appearance/reality part. The way we appear is the way we are. But thats not necessarily appearance but much rather a way we portray ourselves. A photographer takes pictures with the sun behind him but what if the sun is behind the motive, what will he see?
@ Nazira
No, thats far from the truth...
Everyone, no matter Christian or not have this problem.
For some people, lets take some girls... They want to appear beautiful and self-confident but at home the break down because of simple problems, such as acne or relationship problems...
We are not that much different to them that we can separate ourselves that far from them. We all still live here and whilst we do, we still are inhabitants but we do not belong. That makes us different.
@ Thirst
I second you in the part of being alone, I do not like solitude and total silence. I need music, I need people, but all I really need is Christ.
The favorite song sounds like Casting Crowns Set me Free...
I also spend a lot of time on social networks, used to be in Facebook and quit, now I am doing much more reasonable things such as contacting you all :P
When no one is around, look up/around and you will see more just a step away :P
Thirst - 7/29/10 @ 3:01 PM
Marvin - excellent memory, though the song tends to lend itself to memory, doesnt it?
Music does not help like people do.
Marvin - 7/29/10 @ 3:09 PM
Just as I said, I listened to my songs too often (still running around with the same songs since mid 2009)
Music is better than sin, unless that music encourages or is sin.
I never claimed that music solves problems, alcohol is already bad enough for adults... Why should music drown away our problems?
We all define music in our own ways and words, music opens me up, it relaxes me and if I tend to let my mind wander I am being stopped by the barrier of praise and will turn to God. It is not bulletproof nor a great thing but I hate sitting all alone in a room, puzzling or doing anything else without music or some sort of sounds... Silence emphasizes stillness and at times solitude.
Japlace - 7/29/10 @ 3:10 PM
@Marvin. Me too. lol. Cept i have 3962 songs on my iPod rightnow. TOOOOOO MANNNNY.haha
"The way we appear is the way we are. But thats not necessarily appearance but much rather a way we portray ourselves." - Marvin
Yes, appearance is NOT the reality. But oh too often we are not the person that others see us as. Your appearance is what others see you as, and the reality is what you really are. Basically this is saying, if your appearance mirrors the reality, then what you see is really what you get.
Marvin - 7/29/10 @ 3:28 PM
Well...appearance does not mirror the reality.
Ill see if I can explain it
if appearance b
Reality ---------> portray -------> appearance a
if appearance c
The reality is that what you are but depending upon the situation you portray yourself differently thus changing your appearance.
Music is a good example too, you can play just about any song and alter the tuning/pitch/volume/style and et cetera. Arent you still singing the same song but youve changed the way you are portraying it thus also changed the meaning if it is being sung and not read.
jake - 7/29/10 @ 4:08 PM
I feel you guys. I am a pretty decent person around my christian friends, but my marine buddies, i get angry faster and i will swear and curse. It because I am weak and I am looking at myself around them and not the saviour Jesus.
PutHisBloodOnIt - 7/29/10 @ 4:18 PM
Yeah, sadly its the truth glad this came up, even though we are only friends online but we kinda serve each other as accountability friends. Thats why its so important to surround yourself with other Christians so you can be held accountable and help us behave as we should. I sure wish I had alot more accountable friends.
jake - 7/29/10 @ 4:59 PM
yup yup. I am grateful for the Christian friends i have, but even they struggle with the same thing
Sarah - 7/29/10 @ 6:46 PM
Probably my biggest problem is just plain not paying attention to what I tell you guys! =) I so often hit myself over the head, because Im offering the very advice I need, but I never pay attention to that advice!
I hate it... Its like "You IDIOT!!!" (and yes, Marvin. I do call MYSELF an idiot, but no one else! ;P)
And I have a problem with daydreaming...too much. Hate that. But...haha, I dont want to talk about how I got into it... =) Maybe in private, but not for all the world to read!!!! =D
Marvin - 7/30/10 @ 6:20 AM
@ Sarah
I have nothing against calling oneself an idiot, I do that too, maybe not verbally but mentally XD. As long as youre not trying to tear yourself down or do it to compare yourself to others I dont really mind...
I daydream too but not necessarily that often and long, mostly after I woke up I tend to spend some time in bed daydreaming :P
@ jake and PHBOI
Friends are a great thing to have, unless they distract you from God and the truth. I myself have lost a lot of friends because the friendships just wouldnt grow toward Christ and if I try to talk about God/Christ they would simply get agitated and annoyed. So I can say Ive tried but I wont heed a friendship which is self-centered.
PutHisBloodOnIt - 7/30/10 @ 6:57 AM
Well all of my friends are not christian, I come from an area where religion is not a priority when growing up and was not taught when we were younger. Will I give up my friends if they are having affect in my spirituality? Ofcourse in a heartbeat but they know I have changed a respect that so there words and actions around me they watch out of respect. But if someone is not willing to accept Christ I will not end my friendship with them but I will not spend all my time on them witnessing in hopes one day they will have a change in heart. Cause when your trying to become a follower of Jesus the hardest thing is to do it alone with no friends to help. But your right you have to know when to cut off a relationship with someone if it affects you.
Marvin - 7/30/10 @ 10:33 AM
I might have been misunderstood here...
Even if your friend does not accept Christ it is still worth maintaining but if they keep on distracting you or they do inappropriate things even though you ask them not to (that in front of you) then it is safer to give up the friendship than to suffer...
PutHisBloodOnIt - 7/30/10 @ 11:10 AM
I understood the point you were trying to make.
Marvin - 7/30/10 @ 11:25 AM
oh ok.
PutHisBloodOnIt - 7/30/10 @ 11:31 AM
I was simply just rambeling on with my own thoughts and my situation.