Alright. I am 14 years old, and have been raised in a Christian home all my life. My parents have conflicting ideas about how far is too far. So I just need some info on what the Christian community thinks about purity, and how far is too far at this age and for high school dating. thanks.





32 replies on this topic
happy_panda - 4/18/10 @ 7:03 PM
i think that if you even question if what youre doing is unpure, then you should be safe and shouldnt do it at all x3
im older than you and i dont date so i wouldnt know much about that... sorry T_T
Kasey - 4/18/10 @ 8:18 PM
I would say kissing with tongue is the farthest you should EVER go before marriage. I hardly even do that with my girlfriend because most of the time it doesnt feel right.. and it raises your temptation to do other things. So Id just say, kiss on the lips most of the time. But in the end you this is between you and God.. ask God how far is too far, and Hell show and/or tell you somehow.
Nicole - 4/18/10 @ 8:55 PM
I agree with Kasey! Even wait a while to do that. Anything that causes you to lose sight of God and tempts you, shy away from it! Just a tip though, dont kiss while laying down. Thats just asking for something to happen. Im in college and me a quite a few of my friends fallow that rule. When you date someone, ask yourself "does this relationship make my relationship with God stronger?" :) Just keep in mind what is truly important. Talk to God about it. Hes the only one that can tell you what you really need to know.
Nicole - 4/18/10 @ 8:59 PM
Oh, just so you know, Im in college and older than you are. I used to date and I quit dating. I cant speak for God but from experience, dating leads to heart break. Dont seek for someone, let God mold you and guide you; and wait until he hands you the love of your life! Pray for that person every day. Ask God to help that person stay pure and true to what is righteous. When you meet that person youre relationship is going to be crazy amazing! :) Until then, just enjoy life and try to live every day as a servant of Him!
jay.me - 4/18/10 @ 9:18 PM
Nothing you would not do right in front of your parents. =)
Crazy Rocker Barbie - 4/19/10 @ 3:33 AM
i agree that you should ask God how He feels about this. and nicole is absolutely right! so i wanna put some emphasis on her second post especially.
jay, thats a nice piece of advice too ;)
i personally consider kissing before marriage to be too far. i know thats kinda radical for most people and i sometimes think myself, "oh whats the big deal" but then i remember why i decided that in the first place. its really an intimate thing and should be saved for a very special person in a very special moment. dating is so unpredictable so you dont really know how long you and a person will be together but if you wait until youre married you wont have that question and you can purely enjoy every moment with that person. its a kiss without any shame. :) thats my view point
Josi - 4/19/10 @ 6:19 AM
agree w/ crb. also its important to set the boundary before anything happens or else you will be tempted to compromise. Make up your mind not to go past a certain point, and pray that God will help you to keep yourself pure.
amanda - 4/19/10 @ 6:33 AM
Im with everyone else here...even kissing is too far, in my opinion. Im in college as well and have also quit dating like Nicole. Ive had problems with boundaries and testing them in the past, therefore, I dont even allow myself to be tempted by staying out of relationships. Its important to set boundaries, but its hard to keep them if one or both people in the relationship dont take it seriously. So, I say, dont even kiss.
Ethan - 4/19/10 @ 12:37 PM
"just the tip"
GenTLEmEn01 - 4/21/10 @ 7:41 PM
Thank you guys so much for the input its really encouraging. Both my parents have also been divorced and I dont want any pity but its just kind of hard to know what to do. My dad and brother kind of expect me to man up and get a kiss this year and I dont really know how to handle that. My mom however doesnt even want me to talk to girls. So Im kind of confused b/c I want to be loving to girls but not in a bad way sorry if Im not being completely clear. Im just confused what to do in this situation.
Japlace - 4/21/10 @ 10:30 PM
listen to your mother.. seriously.dont even question it.
Japlace - 4/21/10 @ 10:32 PM
no offense to the ladies with the above post.lo.but David, listen to your mom on this one.
Vanessa - 4/21/10 @ 10:37 PM
I definitely agree with your mom David.
Kasey - 4/21/10 @ 11:51 PM
You guys think he shouldnt even be TALKING to girls? Like even as friends? Now THATs too far.. I agree that you probably shouldnt have a relationship at 14, especially if youre a little confused, but come on.. talking to girls does no harm, as long as theyre not badly influential people, but that goes for guys too..
Japlace - 4/22/10 @ 12:35 AM
lol.
Now Kasey, you and i both know it is IMPOSSIBLE to NOT talk to girls. its inevitable! SO if he say you wont even talk to them, that lessens the chance of you getting into a relationship with them. u c?
Vanessa - 4/22/10 @ 8:23 AM
For some cases that is exactly what Im saying, but for the most part I think its extremely important for guys to have friends that are girls and vice versa. If someone (girls included) has a specificaly difficult time with the temptation when they are around a person of the opposite gender, however, they should do everything possible to avoid that temptation. Of course, completely shutting out girls is not possible but lessening the interaction could be helpful.
Kasey - 4/22/10 @ 6:13 PM
Oh, ok, I get what you guys are saying now, and I agree. I was just a little confused haha sorry.
Japlace - 4/22/10 @ 8:25 PM
Thats okay, bro. i figured thats what happened lol.
james - 4/23/10 @ 9:39 AM
This sums it up perfectly
http://www.crossroadschurch.com/sermons/vimeo.asp?embed=clip_id%3D11050383&date=April+18+AM%2C+2010&title=Adultery+and+Purity&speaker=Chuck+Booher
james - 4/23/10 @ 9:42 AM
Matthew 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.