Hey, guys! I recently got out of a long-term relationship. My boyfriend broke up with me because he said he had some things to figure out in his life and he never told me what was going on, even though we used to tell each other everything. We were best friends. Now he moved to Kentucky and he won't talk to me anymore. It's been really hard because I miss him so much and he never even gave me a reason why he ended it. It was so abrupt. One day, everything was perfect and the next it was over. I'm finding strength in God and I know I'm going to get through it, it's just been really hard. Anybody have any advice? This is my first serious break up.
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7 replies on this topic
With Love On Your Arms - 8/7/12 @ 1:32 AM
Hi there, Alli. I am sorry since I never had experienced a serious breakup before. But I have experienced something that may relate to you. I fell in love with a guy who was a believer. God loved me through him and I found many qualities in him that I wanted my future husband to have.
He left to college a few months ago and God helped me focus on Him more. I started to immerse myself deeper in the Bible and began to spend time with my youth leader. The guy that I liked shared Jesus to me and would tell me that he was praying for me, which would mean a lot to me even before when I wasn't sure if prayer worked.
For the former boyfriend of yours, it is best that you start praying for him and just give him up all to the Lord. Also, start praying for your future spouse and begin to write a list of qualities that you want to find in the husband God provides for you.
I know how the world is like and how, especially among adolescents, we believe lies that finding the right boyfriend/girlfriend will make you feel complete. It is important to remember the if we try to find satisfaction in other things and not on Christ, they will end up being "meaningless" as the book of Ecclesiastes describes.
Spending time with a youth leader or a mature believer who is at a level of faith you are working to be at really helps. I have problems as well in my life but God worked through my youth leader to become strong against the trials and difficulties in life. Please don't isolate yourself but be around encouraging believers and read the Bible daily.
1 John is one of my favorite books in the Bible that speaks about the siblings in Christ, the definition of love and the eternal life given to those who are in Christ. I suggest you find verses that you can keep in your heart that are found in this book.
Remember to come to the Lord through His Word first and then come to us, your brothers and sisters in Christ when you are having some difficulties. It is our job to help you grow and find your strength in the Lord.
Pray for the Holy Spirit to give you clarity, wisdom and understanding when you read His Word. Here are so verses you should check out.
Psalm 147:3
1 John 3:16
Matthew 22:7-38
Philippians 4:13
KingsKid2 - 8/7/12 @ 8:26 AM
I really agree with the wonderful advice posted by Jenn. I'm sure it must be hard and very lonely at times. But use those times to seek the Lord and draw closer to Him. He is the best friend that anyone can ever have. Focus on Him during this time. Read through the book of Philippians also. I just find it to be so encouraging and simple.
Sarah32 - 8/10/12 @ 10:58 PM
It's always difficult to go through break-ups, especially when there isn't much closure involved. I'm so sorry you're going through such a heartbreak, and I really truly mean that, Alli. I was engaged a few years back, and went through a serious break-up through it myself. It's devastating, yes. Some days I'm sure you sob uncontrollably, and others, you feel a little stronger. It can be a really draining experience, but it can also be an experience where you grow the closest to God that you ever have before. God is near those who are crushed in spirit, and His Word says He gives grace to the humble.
Trials pound us and humble us. They make us feel like we cannot move forward, but in so any ways, this is good, for it brings us into a reliance with God. For many, it's a time when they first enter into a relationship with God, confessing their faults to Jesus and truly giving Him everything. For those who are saved, it's a time to flourish in the Lord. This can be a good season for you, Alli. And I pray that whichever of the two camps you fall in, that you will be replenished in the Holy Spirit and have more of a sense of what God wants for your life. ((((HUGS))) girl!
P.S.- Never be afraid to cry, and never be too embarrassed to fall on your face before God, bearing all your vulnerability before Him.<3
KingsKid2 - 8/11/12 @ 4:09 PM
That's true. ^ :)
Sarah - 8/17/12 @ 3:49 PM
I totally agree with Sarah32! Definitely some great advice there.
Alli, I am so sorry about your breakup. It really, really sucks when there is no closure. Breakups hurt, no matter what, but when there is no given reason, it's so much more painful--or when the reason is so ridiculously weak!
Trust your heart to God. He will never leave you, and He will never care how awful you look with tears streaming from your puffy, red eyes. Nothing can ever make Him love you less, so don't be afraid to bring your pain before Him. He has a reason for all this, and He will bring you through stronger, if you will allow Him to.
Melanie - 9/22/12 @ 2:32 PM
A friend said to me recently that even though that it seems like everything is going wrong (or even one thing that took us completely by surprise... and not in a good way) that it doesn't mean that we're not right in the middle of Gods perfect will for us. I know it hurts (this is an old post so hopefully you've experienced much healing since!) but God knows what He's doing.
joseBloodBought - 10/12/12 @ 1:07 PM
Dont date unless you intend to marry. Thats my advice.