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Purity pledge and a boyfriend who's struggling with the idea of it. (long) posted in Advice on 1/16/12 @ 11:49 PM by ChristianaFaith

I was hesitant on coming on here to express this problem since it being my boyfriend who's having troubles, but I read quite a few others, so here goes.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now, we are both believers in Christ Jesus. I do admit though, we both have been lazy in our walk with Christ. Mentioning Him here and there whenever He came up in conversation and such, not been to church in a long while, not picking up a Bible, not even praying except for maybe once a month or so. Recently, my boyfriend was the one who just decided to pick up a Bible and we'd have Bible study every day together. I love it & think it's great. We've even started to attend church with my mom who's been going by herself for over a year now, we've prayed just about every day now.

It's really lifted my spirits and I feel like it's a fresh start this year. I've remained abstinent from sex, as I've always wanted to. I do however, now want to make it official and get a purity ring and I've been all about it lately and I think it's starting to get to my boyfriend. We've had discussions where he'll say masturbation is fine and I'll find a verse in the Bible talking about how our bodies are not to please ourselves, but belongs to God. But we've been clashing about this a bit lately. He's never pressured me to do anything of the sort, always respected that this was what I wanted to do. But I think it's this battle he's having right now trying to find some way that masturbation is ok and not a sin.

I'm thinking I'm in the wrong trying to step in and help him find verses to read about it. I'm starting to think I should step out and let God work on him alone. Like this is my boyfriend's internal battle with God and I should leave it alone? Any advice?

10 replies on this topic
Matt - 1/16/12 @ 11:53 PM

Pray for him! If you find a verse that you think might help him I don't see any problem in suggesting it to him
You both will be in my prayers!!


ChristianaFaith - 1/17/12 @ 12:13 AM

Thank you:) I will definitely be praying for him, I'd love if we could go through a purity pledge together.

I would also like to say I've never posted anything on these forums far as I can remember but going through all the responses everything gives each other, no matter what kind of advice someone needs, it's always so positive and very refreshing. You go on yahoo for anything, doesn't matter what it is and you get a lot of smack for it. It's just an amazing place:) Thank you again matt :D


Nicole - 1/17/12 @ 7:24 AM

What Matt said (: pray for him, and show him God's unconditional love. You guys will be in my prayers. (:


Needy Servant - 1/19/12 @ 10:21 PM

I would also say that if you feel like you have said enough then you just might have. If you press the issue and make him feel like you are condemning him it will typically push him farther from the truth. Maybe one last reminder, at the right prayed about time, about how Jesus said if you lust after a women you have commited adultery in your heart. Even if you love somebody, it is still sin to lust for them. Just remind him of that, how the bible also says that sexual sin is the worst sin because it affects the spirit and the body (and he is defiling whomever he is thinking about), and God's love and sacrifice, the unconditonal love of Jesus, and how important it is to put God first.
Mainly just continue to pray and read together and go to church, and if it comes up sure say something, but do not badger him.

You said you guys just started going back to church and reading again, don't make this too big of an issue until it is bevause it can drive him away, and remember if he rries to do anything with you it will not be worth how guilty and filthy and gross and awful and bad you feel after, and if he does try to get you to "do stuff" tell him you guys need a break. The love of Jesus is far greater and pure and true.

Grace and love my dear sister


KingsKid - 1/22/12 @ 10:04 AM

I agree with the fact that you need to pray for him. And there is nothing wrong with mentioning verses to him either. As you read the Bible together when you come across verses that are relevant to the subject, talk about them.


JesusFreak - 1/23/12 @ 10:51 AM

Pray, pray, and pray! May I suggest a book that he may be interested in reading? "Every young man's battle" by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoecker. About half-way through the book it gets into much detail about masturbation and whether its a sin as well as all sexual temptation and it really makes you think. I really recommend it for him and any young man!


Allisha R - 4/2/12 @ 4:53 PM

hey guys, well to be honest i didn't really read what this topic is about (sorry about that, i will later for sure) so i don't know quite what you're all talking about.
but because you mentioned facebook, i thought i would post what i wanted to say here, and probably on some other topics as well. at this point i'm now just copying and pasting this onto other forum that are talking about purity or facebook.

anyway, a few years back i was wanting to start a purity group page and fan page on facebook. i had a couple of people who were gonna be on board with me. i did a bunch of planning and split up different aspects of it to all my admins to in charge of. sadly none of them really did anything or helped out. so i got discouraged and rarely worked on it. i was wanting to get some stuff going before it was open to the public. but now i wanna start it up again, although facebook has done so many changes that it looks totally different and jumbled up, unfortunately.

all in all i just want to ask those of you who do have facebook to join my group page and fan page, and hopefully be active members to help it grow. as well if any of you are interested in helping out that be great. (warning there are some biased content on their, such as advertising for my youth group, but if i let you help out... maybe i'll let you advertise your youth group as well)

so here's the links
fan page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/-Purity/329523374569
group page: http://www.facebook.com/groups/330660462403/


Brian - 5/12/12 @ 9:28 AM

I think that you should let God do the work but at the same time, just pray and I'll be praying for you guys as well. GOD BLESS!!!!!!


Sarah - 5/16/12 @ 10:45 AM

Definitely pray for him. I would also suggest verses to him, but in love. Let him know that you care about him and are not condemning or judging him in any way.


Ericka - 5/23/12 @ 11:05 AM

Agree with all of these fine Christians. Definitely pray for him lots. It sounds like you have something good with this guy. Hoping for the best for you two! God Bless!


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