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I'm a young man of God and I need some help. posted in Advice on 1/10/12 @ 5:53 PM by Matt

I'm gonna be really honest....I think I'm addicted to Pornography. I finally got the courage to tell my parents about it a few minutes ago, They set up a filter on my laptop called Covenant Eyes. I do feel a lot better now knowing that that filter is on, but what are some other things you guys think I could do to fight the urge to sneak a peak now and then. One thing that's really tough for me is I'm homeschooled and I'm home by myself all day from about 8 AM to about 2:30 PM and that's when I get tempted the most. Any advice?

16 replies on this topic
PutHisBloodOnIt - 1/10/12 @ 6:02 PM

Honestly stay away from your computer if its in your room take it out and put it in your front room and have your parents put a password on it or if its a laptop keep it in their room and when you use it keep it where anyone can see it out in the open. Don't spend countless hours doing nothing browsing in it, the Bible tells us the days are long and evil so keep buisy in the word or school work or praying maybe working out but keep yourself busy. Good for you for being a man about it and telling your parents before it got outta control I'm very proud of you man.


Sarah32 - 1/10/12 @ 6:40 PM

I'm glad you recognized your need for help, Matt- that's the first step to beating this beast and defeating the flesh.

As PHBOI has said- flee from temptation. If your computer is causing you to stumble- stay off of it- period. If it's the TV, have your parents put a code on it. If you have magazines, burn them.

Realize that you may be using this as a way to cope with problems. If that's the case- find an alternative activity for when your stressed and needing an outlet.

Tell TRUSTED men of God so you can be kept accountable. This is probably the most crucial step. If you have someone in your life to keep you accountable, you'll have someone to answer to and to help you when you feel tempted. I would set up a weekly schedule for now and meet up with this person (or people) on a regular basis each week so you can establish a pattern. It's easy to want to forget your accountability partners when your wanting to sin instead...which is why it is wise to have a regular meeting time.

Realize the consequences- sometimes the best thing to do when we feel like sinning is to recognize the consequences for our sin. What will this do to your prayer life or your relationship with God? How will you feel afterward? Is it worth it for your future? Realize that if you want to get married one day that this could be a hindrance to your intimacy with your future wife.

If you have to- write out a contract. Specify what you will not do and make a covenant with your eyes not to look at a girl lustfully as Job did. Write out specifications and sign the paper, asking God to be the one to help you uphold your covenant promise.

Stephen Arterburn has good books on the subject. One that I would really recommend you check out is "Every Man's Battle." I believe they also have a teen version too, if that applies to you.

If you still feel you need further help, look into Christian counseling or go see a pastor about the issue. Just remember, you are not beyond help and you are not beyond hope. Repenting to Christ and humbling yourself before Him will allow His Spirit to work more in your life. Remember- when you are weak, He is strong!


Thirst - 1/10/12 @ 8:11 PM

Also, distractions are AMAZING. Seriously, whenver you start considering it - "Oh, have I done chore X yet? Have I tried out this game/beaten this level? Hey, Buddy L who happens to be on Facebook right now, let's talk about the latest and greatest (whatever you're friends about)." Anything and everything you can possibly do to keep yourself from fixating on it and thinking about it. Avoid at all costs principal and what not.

Just my advice, from someone who beat the addiction


Gabriella - 1/10/12 @ 9:55 PM

i agree with the people above. what my friend (he was addicted too) helped very much was a course on a site: www.settingcaptivesfree.com

maybe it's helpful!


Matt - 1/11/12 @ 12:23 AM

@PHBOI-I need my laptop to do school and other things such as my blog, etc. But when I'm bymyself during the day i try to stay off it as much as I can.

@sarah- I've told both of my parents about it and they're helping me by setting up Covenant Eyes on my laptop which will send them both a report via email of every website I visit on my laptop. I think the Contract is a good idea and I'll do that as well. Thank you!!!

@thirst-You're right, when I do get tempted I try my best to get myself distracted (which Can be easy for me seeing as I have ADD)

@Gabriella- Thank you! I checked out that website and I'm going to do one of their free courses over the next 60 days.

Thank you guys so much!!
One thing I have noticed is that now that I have told my parents and I have come to the conclusion that there was no way I'd ever beat this all by myself (which is basically what I had been trying to do) I feel like a big weight has been lifted off my shoulders!


PutHisBloodOnIt - 1/11/12 @ 5:45 AM

I understand that you need it for school, but give it to your parents and whenyou need it ask for it don't leave it in your room where you have total access to it alone. If it gets worse use it for strictly homework forget your blog for awhile and stay away from it completely.


Gabriella - 1/11/12 @ 6:36 AM

@matt, you sound really the same as my friend.

you know he was a good friend of me, but he had one big secret: his addiction. he was really scared to tell it to his parents and his friends, but they all were glad that he had the courage to tell it honest.

and i really hope that course will help you! i know it are good courses so keep your head up high! it'll be alright!:)


Matt - 1/11/12 @ 11:01 AM

@Gabriella-That's the same way I was! I've had this addiction problem for over a year now. I was always afraid to tell anyone because I was ashamed and embarrassed by it. Plus my parents were always telling me that they were so proud of me, their 18 year old son who loves God and is living for him...and here I was watching Porn behind their backs.

But I'm glad I came clean, I realize that's what I should have done a LONG time ago, and my parents are willing to help me, and pray for me, and do everything they can to help me beat this thing!!


KingsKid - 1/13/12 @ 1:14 PM

I agree with what has been written here by everyone. That's great that you came out with it and told your parents! The devil wants you to keep it hidden so you'll feel even worse. But you didn't, and that's awesome!


PutHisBloodOnIt - 1/16/12 @ 9:53 AM

Hey Matt im at work right now and just read a scripture and u popped right into my head...1 Corinthians 10:13.. I am not to write it out you have to go read it....Glory to our Father!


Matt - 1/16/12 @ 11:02 AM

Thanks man! Great verse!!!


Juan - 1/16/12 @ 8:47 PM

check out www.XXXchurch.com it should help you out.


Matt - 1/16/12 @ 11:54 PM

Great site Juan, thanks for showing it to me!


Matt - 1/17/12 @ 1:55 PM

I need you guys to pray for me... I'll be honest
today I've had a migraine all day, I needed a way to get my mind off the pain in my head, Satan tempted me and I fell for it..I looked at porn and masturbated for the first time in about 10-11 days. I feel really bad and I've already asked God to forgive me and I know he has. Please pray that God will show me the way out of temptation. I want today to be the LAST time I ever look at porn or masterbate.


PutHisBloodOnIt - 1/17/12 @ 2:24 PM

Ok Matt this is a important question how did you look at the porn computer, tv or phone?whatever you used you need to get rid of it asap..Look at my earlier post about how u needed to not have any of this things where u could of been alone. How ever u got access to it it needs to be either destroyed or taken away where you have no access to it at all. No excuses get rid of it completely. I am praying for you right now.


Matt - 1/18/12 @ 9:38 AM

I looked at it on the safari browser on my iPod. Which is now disabled.


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