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Girlfriend... posted in Advice on 12/29/11 @ 10:59 PM by Jordan Dean

So for those of you who don't know, God has blessed me with an amazing Christian girlfriend who I am beginning to love very very much. She is literally perfect in every way to me besides one major thing: she's pro-choice. In my eyes, pro-choice is pro-murder and the equivalent of being pro-nazi. Her position is very firm so I don't think I can persuade her from this disgusting mindset. Does anyone have any advice on how to overcome this obstacle or do you think this is a deciding factor in leaving her? If you are pro-choice, please don't contribute because you and I are on two completely different levels. Any pro-lifers, please give me advice!

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31 replies on this topic
John - 12/29/11 @ 11:32 PM

I'm a pro lifer and i say you should look past this. I'm not entirely sure how strongly you feel about this but you know she's not a nazi and despite her views you say you are still beginning to feel love for her. Her choice is pro choice you miss with that you'll miss things up. You can explain to her why pro life is better if she wants to listen otherwise things well just get bad. God bless your relationship.


Jordan Dean - 12/30/11 @ 1:50 AM

Being an almost-aborted person, my stance is extraordinarily strong on this matter and is the primary reason I am getting into politics. Looking past it is extremely tough. It's like if I lived in the 1700's and my girlfriend was a slave owner...


Nicole - 12/30/11 @ 7:31 AM

I am pro life. Have you showed her the 180 film?? This is probably the most powerful tool you have, (right after God). Other than that i would say don't try and change her. Loving someone means loving all of them, their quirks and faults along with all the good stuff. It's up to you, does all of the good stuff outweigh this one opinion? Is this one opinion a deal breaker? Pray about it... A lot lol God can help you on this one. (: If I personally was in this situation I would have no clue what to do besides just pray and ask God to lead me. Ask Him what He wants me to do. Don't worry, Jesus has totally got this on lock lol. (:


PutHisBloodOnIt - 12/30/11 @ 7:46 AM

Here are some alternative ways to view your situation if I was you. What if she was telling her friends that your perfect and everything but your pro life and she told her friends she was praying that you would open your eyes and realize that its a women's choice? Or what if she was telling her friends she was thinking of breaking up with you because she can't stand the fact your pro life? She could be thinking the sameyhing your thinking. Honestly being honest is the best thing to do in this situation and sit down with her face to face and ask her how big of a deal is it to her that you both disagree on this matter. From there you can get an idea of how strongly she feels about this subject. Just remember as we grow older and wiser in Gods word many things become more clear, as we become wiser more scales seem to fall off our eyes.


KingsKid - 12/30/11 @ 8:25 AM

"I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already need born." -Ronald Reagan.


Thirst - 12/30/11 @ 8:56 AM

It's not your choice, Jordan, it's hers. End of discussion.

You cannot force her to change her opinions to suit your own. That's not even the murder of the flesh, that's controlling who someone is. Don't make life not worth living by forcing this on her... without her own ability to choose, she could not and cannot choose God


Jordan Dean - 12/30/11 @ 12:24 PM

@Nicole - I did show her the film. No action... I guess praying is my only option.

@PHBOI - The Bible supports prolife (open another topic if you want to argue that) so praying for it would be like praying for me to become a nazi. If she would leave me because I value human life, she is disgusting and not worth my time.

@Thirst - The point of this really flew right over your head. I don't want to force her to change, I want her to change because it's the right thing to do. I value free will more than anything except for human life.


PutHisBloodOnIt - 12/30/11 @ 12:38 PM

I know it does, I am pro life 100% no ifs and or buts about it, she just might be thinking the same way you are asking the same questions to her friends about you that your asking us.


Jordan Dean - 12/30/11 @ 1:21 PM

"why does my boyfriend care so much for innocent children?" strange question to ask.


Thirst - 12/30/11 @ 1:51 PM

Still not your decision to make... Seriously. She can believe whatever she wants. So can every Athiest and Buddhist and what not. It's the right thing for all of them to become Christians, yes, but we can't force it on them, now can we? And by the same token, you can't force pro-life/pro-choice/whatever you are onto her


PutHisBloodOnIt - 12/30/11 @ 2:24 PM

I'm sure she does not word it that way, I'm in the same boat as you Jordan I was almost aborted too, I know that feeling you had when you were told you was almost aborted. Doesn't make her a bad person, or a bad Christian, I hope one day she changes her stance not cause someone convinced her but because its in the Bible and God condemns it.


Codify - 12/30/11 @ 3:31 PM

Hey brother, I suggest having her watch the "180 Movie"

check it out for yourself here @ http://www.180movie.com/

This guy puts it very plainly yet eloquent.
Let me know what you think

God bless!


Jordan*Hester - 12/30/11 @ 4:07 PM

Tell her about Abort73.com, it's a great resource for abortion facts/the truth about abortion.


Love is patient. - 12/30/11 @ 4:27 PM

Wouldn't you still love her even if she is pro-choice? I'm a pro-lifer but I understand why some people believe women should have a right to do what they want with their body. I don't care much about voting for pro-life or pro-choice, I care more about helping these women and their babies, and instead of judging them, I care about giving the support, like offering to adopt the child if they choose to keep it.

If abortion is illegal, there can be on-street abortion that can keep both the child and mother at risk. A Christian lady I met told me she was a pro-choice for one of these reasons.

You can tell your girlfriend that abortion isn't always the only option. There are rich couples that can adopt the child or any other family members that would.


CraigSnedeker - 12/30/11 @ 6:04 PM

@Codify He already did, he said so up there ^ :p



Jordan Dean - 12/30/11 @ 8:48 PM

@Thirst - Nobody is talking about forcing anything on anyone so stop wasting space if you're not going to contribute constructively.

@PHBOI - Does it make me a bad person if I think killing people under 3 feet tall is okay?

@Jordan*Hester - Thanks, I sent her it. Let's see if it helps..

@LoveisPatient - I can illegally hire someone to kill somebody I don't like. Should we legalize contract killing? There is absolutely no reason to be pro-choice. It is the woman's body but it is the child's life. I'd give my life for any of the 53 million aborted children if I could. And if you loved someone and found out they were a Nazi, would you still love them?


Thirst - 12/30/11 @ 9:21 PM

Maybe not in the terms I put, instead, you say things like 'overcoming this obstacle'. If you're really trying to keep this from coming between the two of you, then accept her decisions... are her decisions. If you don't want to do that and you want to stay with her, then you want her to accept your point of view. Which means forcing it on her.

I'm going to be seen as insensitive for this, but whatever happened with your birth is done, is gone, is the past. You know this and are taking steps to prevent the same thing from happening to other people, and that's cool, in fact that's doing exactly as Christ would do. I'm not arguing against that. I'm saying at some point, it's still her choice, and you can't change that no matter what you do, or what happened to you.

Trust me. I agree with you, and I understand you have personal stake in this. But her views are hers and you can only influence her, and let her make her own decisions.


Jordan Dean - 12/30/11 @ 9:54 PM

@Thirst - You keep missing the point. I'm looking for advice on whether to stay with her and accept this disgusting choice or to leave her; no forcing.
And you wouldn't understand what happened at my birth because it is not in the past; I am reminded by it every day when I see that I don't have parents. You aren't insensitive, just ignorant.


Love is patient. - 12/31/11 @ 12:46 AM

You can first ask her, why she is a pro-choice and what are some reasons. If someone I knew was a Nazi, I would still love that person because it's His commandment. It is a child's life, that's why I am keeping these women and unborn children in my prayers. That's why instead of judging them there are other things we can do to help these women so they can keep their child.

We can't really change people, since we are only in control of the decisions we make for ourselves. And one last question, are you sure this girlfriend of yours is God's will for your life?


Jordan Dean - 12/31/11 @ 4:03 AM

@LoveisPatient - I didn't mean would you still love them, I meant would you stay in a relationship with them if you found out they were Nazi. And I never said she was "God's will for my life" and it's definitely way too early to tell.


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