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Believer and non-believer dating posted in Advice on 12/27/11 @ 10:00 PM by Love is patient.

If a Christian girl and non-Christian guy date, does it mean it's not going to work out? What could possible go wrong? There may be a little difference but what if they both are interested in other things?

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23 replies on this topic
PutHisBloodOnIt - 12/28/11 @ 6:28 AM

Well what do you think? What do you think could become problems? Before anyone answers I would like to hear your thoughts about it.


Needy Servant - 12/28/11 @ 11:23 PM

I second phboi, not to be jumpin up in all ya threads and being an echo but he just so happens to be right again.


Love is patient. - 12/31/11 @ 12:48 AM

I don't see anything bad happening if they date. The believer can show God's love to the other person, who may give their life to the Lord. The believer can encourage the other person.


Ryan - 12/31/11 @ 9:53 AM

I have dated religious women in the past and never really had any issues. In fact ive had some great discussions come out of it as long as both parties can remain respectful.


Codify - 12/31/11 @ 1:46 PM

I think Paul answers your questions here in 2 Corinthians. Read verses 14-18



Zombie Pickles - 1/1/12 @ 2:43 PM


And while you say the believer could show God's love I believe it is more likely that the Christian gets dragged down and away from God than the non-Christian getting dragged up towards God.

Also, if I were to date a non-Christian guy it would be hard for me to relate to him since the seepest, most important parts of our lives were not based on the same truth.


Spirit in the Sky - 1/1/12 @ 8:11 PM

I 100% support what Zombie Pickles said.


Jordan Dean - 1/1/12 @ 10:41 PM

If your partner is not Christian , then they don't believe people possess eternal souls which means they can't believe in any kind of love besides attraction. The only exception would be if they were of another religion but that would just lead to more dilemmas.
Instead of shutting the idea down completely, I suggest befriending the person, explain how you feel and share the Word of God with them. That person can very well be God's intended partner for you and you could very well be the vessel Jesus uses to reach that person. So instead of dating someone without taking God's will into consideration, witness to them and go to God about it.
No one on here can tell you God's will better than He can so while it's great to receive advice here, go to Him instead.


KingsKid - 1/2/12 @ 9:01 AM

I agree with what has been written by Jordan, ZP, and Codify.
Christians and non-Christians are on totally different levels. At least, they should be. Jesus needs to be first and foremost in your life. So I suggest you really ask Him what He wants for you to do in this situation. Really truly seek His Face in this matter.


Nicole - 2/21/12 @ 11:15 AM

I've tried dating guys who aren't Christian. It's really difficult. You might have things in common that are earthly or "profound" here but when it comes to needing support spiritually, good luck.

Have you read the Screwtape Letters? The devil will take any slack you give him and run a mile with it.

You want someone who's going to be able to make you stronger in your walk with God. Who's going to love your mind, body, AND soul.

Also, the essential reason for dating is to find a mate. I grew up in a family with two technically Christian parents but the strong difference in denominations caused huge family problems.


Sarah - 2/26/12 @ 10:24 AM

Okay, I'm going to tell you something. I dated a nonChristian for a few months, and honestly he just dragged me down. I had pure motives, but we were just on two very different wave lengths--and he had a different agenda. I'm still a virgin, but if everything had worked out as he had hoped, I probably wouldn't be. I compromised a lot, did a lot more than I should've. I really wanted to draw him closer to God, but I really don't know if I did... Right now he's actually being the better "Christian" than I am, but that's not exactly thanks to me.

Bottom line: Don't do it. Be friends, but no more. He's gotta be a Christian--a strong one--before you think of dating him.


Stephanie - 2/26/12 @ 7:22 PM

I know someone who started dating a guy who appeared to be a Christian. He was always all about God and studied the scriptures like all the time. I knew the guy too, and he seemed genuinely to love God. But something happened (not sure what) and he started questioning his beliefs. Now he doesnt know what to believe, but it seems he is leaning more towards atheistic views. My friend doesnt know what to do. She wants him to love God, but she knows that it is God who must change her bf's heart. I don't know what to tell her, other than to keep praying? What would your advice to her be?


Melanie - 9/22/12 @ 2:59 PM

I love this question and I'll respond even though its an old topic....

It can work, but I wouldn't do it. That's not to say that you don't need to be incredibly careful when you date professing Christians too!

The best advice that I've ever heard on this topic is "date someone that loves Jesus more than you do" and also to not date, but know that person as a friend for a LONG time. If that person knows (because this is usually the biggest issue) that you wont have premarital sex and they push for it, you know what you need to do. Don't put the friendship first. Your relationship with Jesus should always come first.


KingsKid2 - 9/25/12 @ 9:16 AM

Exactly! Jesus Christ has to be first in the guy's life. Jesus should be more important to him than anything else in this life. Otherwise, how will he ever be strong enough to be the spiritual leader of the home? How will he teach his children to honour and fear the Lord?


Sarah - 9/28/12 @ 7:09 AM

So true, ladies and gents.

I know I did post in February, but I do have to add something. Ironically enough, three days after I posted my comment, I became involved with this guy I'd met in January. He was attending a Catholic church, but didn't hold to the Catholic beliefs. At that time, he also wasn't a born-again Christian. We started dating in March, and have been together for nearly seven months.
Shortly after we started dating, we began having spiritual discussions. I knew he wasn't a true believer, but I did see a spark of hope--and that has since grown to full-out, born-again Christian awesomeness.

Soo...I have been in two relationships with > A raised-evangelical/nonChristian, and > A raised-Catholic/not-sure-what-to-believe. The first guy dragged me down, but the second has come to Christ and is being used by God to rebuild my faith.
I would echo what many of the others have said--it may work, but the best thing is to just be friends, keep your distance as far as romance goes, and allow God to work through you to save that person BEFORE you date them. Sometimes it does work out, but more often than not it just drags the Christian down.

By the way, I will add that I didn't want to date the second guy, but my defences were so weak after dealing with a difficult situation at home and dating the first guy, that I had no strength left in me to say "no". I'm glad now that I didn't, but I firmly believe God had His hands on us, protecting us.


joseBloodBought - 10/12/12 @ 12:46 PM

tHE SCRIPTURE SAYS bE NOT UNEQUALLY YOKED WITH UNBELIEVERS. TO DO SO WOULD BE TO BECOME UNEQUALLY YOKED FOR THE SAKE OF ONE'S OWN DESIRE AND PLEASURE. IT IS CERTAINLY UNWISE AND CONTRARY TO THE BIBLE'S ADVISE.


Charming Anarchist - 11/29/12 @ 11:04 PM

I would NEVER trust an atheist with family values.

What is your intention with dating a non-Christian?


Thirst - 12/4/12 @ 6:36 PM

As nice as it would be to date a non-Christian, I'm going to support the 'don't go for it' party here.

The reason is actually a larger one than most people realize - one's calling. I know what my calling is and I know that if I dated a non-christian and things got serious, I would have to either abandon her or my calling. Not exactly a decision one wants to make. So, avoid the situation altogether, and say thanks but no.


kaitlynn - 12/27/12 @ 8:54 PM

the reason for waiting is to find the person you will marry. Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
And just like zombie said they will bring you down before you raise them up bad company ruins good morals 1 Corinthians 15:33
my dad wasent really an unbeliever but he wasn't really a convicted Christian either. My mom wanted to raise us in a Christian home, my dad didn't care enough to go to church on Sunday. they got a divorce when I was 13.
go ahead and try to show him to the Lord but Don let him drag you down. and check where his heart is before you marry.
I hope I helped


Stephanie - 12/27/12 @ 9:02 PM

I have done this twice. You cannot serve two masters. Trust me when I tell you that if you date a non-christian your relationship with Christ will suffer. I praise God for bringing me out of bad situations two times! He is a faithful God and He will not leave you nor forsake you, but He will allow you to be broken in order to pursue your heart and bring you back to Him, your first love. I would strongly advise against dating a non-christian. Yuo are setting yourself up for a situation where you have to choose between breaking up with someone you love or being unequally yoked in direct disobedience to God.


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