Ok guys, I have a major issue. So I met this girl Jess who is new to town and to my school and she's my lab partner for anatomy so I've gOtten to know her pretty well. She's come to youth group at my church a couple times and is the fits person inmy town I can actually talk to about my relationship with God. However the other day we were hanging out but she was acting weird like something wa wrong. I asked her and she said that a burden of hers has caused her to have a heavy heart. I askedher if she could be more specific and she just started bawling wrapped her arms around my neck and cried on my shoulder. She managed to utter the words 'masterbation addiction' and I froze. I had no idea what to say do or how to react!! She tried to explain: (summed up version) she said she had ne'er been kissed and never had a boyfriend but masterbation sparked her interest because she wanted to make herself feel 'good' she was very discouraged at first, however because nothing was happening and she insisted she was 'broken' but she key 'practicing' and was able to be satisfied. And now she feels like she can't stop. She says it happens atleast once a day, but she also said that she knew what the bible said about the impurities of our mind and lustful sin and what it can do to us, which made her bawl even harder because she felt disappointment from God. As she's telling me this I can't help but try to come up with something to say that sounds comforting. But all I could manage to say one thing which was , "Jess,I'm going to pray for you" but seriously HOW DO I HANDLE THIS? Hhhhhheeelllppp!





10 replies on this topic
John - 11/19/11 @ 11:40 PM
Jesse almost sounds like a female me. I say almost because I've come very close to beating the same addiction. Tell her to pray and to fight the urges. They can be fought. It will take a while but she will be able to take control of herself. God will take the urge away just as he does with me.
Daniel - 11/20/11 @ 1:57 AM
as john said, it will take time. Since you are close friends, you can be an accountability partner to help her break free.
Gabriella - 11/20/11 @ 3:15 AM
well i had a friend, Nadine, too with this addiction. she went on a online course: www.settingcaptivesfree.com
maybe it'll be helpful! i've seen great results after these courses!
oh and, they are free:)
andrea statler - 11/20/11 @ 7:29 AM
Great! Thanks you guys for your input. I just felt so bad and was caught so off guard I had no idea how to console her.. But maybe now I can just continue to pray for her, and have her look at that website. I confided in my youth pastor about it ( but didn't mention names of course) and he also advised for me to suggest to her that the time that she feels the urge to do that she go and tea her bible or talk with God and spend time with Him. Maybe that could be a suggestion I give her too..?
Ariel - 11/20/11 @ 2:39 PM
This is very important: "Pray to God, you'll be fine" is NEVER the answer. Never.
She knows what triggers her, so she should stay away from whatever those are, whether it be music, or magazines, or tv, or a certain place, whatever. She will also be able to tell when her mind is shifting into that place, and at that point, and this can really go for any kind of temptation, it's as simple as this: "Lord, help!" It works, trust me.
As for what you can do, just be there for her. Tell her you're proud of her for reaching out. That is a HUGE step!! You can be her accountability partner. Don't ever beat her down for it or abandon her because of it.
Jordan*Hester - 11/20/11 @ 5:48 PM
You could tell her about http://www.xxxchurch.com/
It's a great resource for addictions like that.
Thirst - 11/20/11 @ 8:04 PM
Also, let her know we are supporting her in this... a lot of us have struggled with it, and we've beaten it. It won't be easy - in fact, it'll be a royal pain - but it's definitely possible.
Stay with her, and be her friend through it. Just being someone real, who cares, is a huge help... Again, help her beat it by being there for her
KingsKid - 11/21/11 @ 6:45 PM
When thoughts come that aren't pure, tell her to remember to keep her mind on Jesus and go read the Bible and start to pray and tell God what she's struggling with. When we say we are sorry He forgives us and doesn't condemn us. The Lord gives strength to overcome anything! He is powerful and will work through you to minister to this girl.
Needy Servant - 11/21/11 @ 10:03 PM
*********** what helps me THE MOST to deal with temptation is to immediately start praying for other people, satan HATES that.
Tell her the second she feels tempted or that her thoughts begin to stray to start praying for everyone she can think of - peopl's prayer requests she knows of, for their salvation, for her church, for her enemies, those who need it but havent said anything, people's bills, their relationship with God, for the church all around the world being beaten and murdered because of their faith, thanking God for their faith, pray for their strength, their safety, that they would stand firm, to send more missionaries to those who need the gospel...
Literallt share thar list with her to put it in her head, sometimes getting started on a big prayer can be slow and tasking do this list will have her brain ready to go. And I would urge all of you my brothers and sisters to do the same.
Grace and Love
Richie - 12/2/11 @ 12:41 PM
I like what Ariel said about being an accountability partner...very biblical truly....."brethren, If any man (in this case woman) is overtaken by trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one with a spirit of Gentleness, consider yourself lest you also be tempted. Bearing one anthers burdens,and in doing so fulfilling the law of Christ" Galatians 6:1&2