I was once a lost, suicidal cutter who had no hope in her life. I had turned my back on God but I turned back and regained my life through Him. I was a broken mess but He made me whole.
I`m entirely covered in scars but I have no shame of them. To be ashamed is to give glory to the demons who once ruled my life. I wear the t-shirts on this site with pride for God and His MIRACULOUS LOVE!! Without Him I`d be dead!
Favorite Scripture
"Don`t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12
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tylerhahaha yeah i see what your saying. keep writing tho!!!! lol God bless
2 Years Ago |
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tylerhey i read you poem!! and it was awesome! i really like it. i think your pretty good at writing. you should keep doing it!
2 Years Ago |
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W0m@n0fG0dHey!! Read your BIO and wow!! What an amazing testimony. I had some similar struggles when I was younger! God is amazing!
2 Years Ago |
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Leah THe sure is!! I am really grateful I have Him in my life! :D
2 Years Ago
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sophieHi Leah. Awesome testimony. Personal question, I have a best friend where you once were... she is non-Christian and struggling with life basically. As you have been there, I was kinda thinking you might have some advice? Was there any one thing / advice or message that helped you get out of where you were? That made you believe it? Understand if you don't want to share... just randomly came across your bio and hey, worth a shot! Thanks.
2 Years Ago |
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Leah TI guess for me it basically came down to what do I have to lose. Obviously what I was doing in my life wasnt working and I was seeing how God was working in the lives of those around me. I was actually at my parents church when I felt God put it on my heart to receive prayer. It was such a pressure that it almost felt like an anxiety attack but not necessarily in a bad way. More of an urgency. I guess when it comes down to advice for your friend, just be there for her. You cant fix her or change her, that a choice she has to make for herself. Im sure it sucks to watch her in pain, but the best thing to do is just love her. Just be a living example of Gods love. Jesus didnt come to earth for those who had it altogether, He came to bind up the brokenhearted. One thing I suggest is dont indulge attention seeking behavior. If she does something stupid and confides in you share it with someone who can professionally help her. Im not sure of your age or your friends age. If your in high school/college share it with a guidance counselor or someone like that. In my case, a lot of my "attention seeking" behavior were cries for help, even though when confronted about it I denied it. For me I knew something was wrong and wanted help but I was terrified to ask for it, so I put it on my friends hoping they would have the guts to get me help. For a while, just before finding Christ, my best friend of 12 years walked out of my life because she couldnt take it anymore. Luckily, shes back in my life now, but it was a hard road for both of us. I guess when it comes down to it all you can do is pray and maybe get her help. Oh, but sometimes when you get them help you cant let her know about it. Sometimes all you can do is drive her to the hospital and make an ultimatum and pray she checks herself in. But thats in the case that shes a real harm to herself. I hope this helps a bit. You can email me at leahthomas28@gmail.com :D
2 Years Ago
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joseBloodBoughtI have to disagree and so would scripture. Man is forged in iniquity born into sin. In rebellion of God. We are not inherently good people who do bad things. We are of an Adamic nature.
2 Years Ago |
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Brooke G.Hey would love it if you could check out my design and vote if you havn't yet:)
http://www.canvasthreads.com/DesignDetails.aspx?id=7243
2 weeks from tonight I will be on a plane to Uruguay for a 6 week missions project with Cru to help with campus ministry down in Montevideo. I am being stretched a lot in my faith already and I havent even left my home. Im struggling to raise the finances for the trip and while Im trying very hard to keep my faith strong I think I could use some people standing in prayer agreeing for the finances to come in. I would also appreciate any prayers for the project itself, for safe travels, and for Divine Appointments. The spiritual atmosphere in Uruguay is cold and resistant to anything relating to God or church. Thank you, Leah.
Please pray for my school. Most public colleges have a Cru on campus. Cru is a college outreach to bring the gospel to lost college students (used to be known as Campus Crusade for Christ). Cru used to be on my campus but had to leave because of a lack of Christians to keep it up. Im praying for the influence of God to return to my campus. I need prayer warriors to help back me up. Ive been asked to step up as a Cru leader on campus, however right now Im underground because without other Christians to create an actual group my school wont recognize it as a student group. Right now Im praying for God to reveal more Christians on campus so that we can start praying together. Ive seen God do amazing things through this organization and Im excited to see what God can do on my campus. My schools name is Minneapolis Community
Please pray for my psychology instructor, Dr. Jan Ochman. A couple of days ago she told us she needed to have her cell phone on in case of an emergency. She wasnt specific at all but you could tell by how flustered and disorganized she was that day that something was up. She canceled class last Thursday and now she has canceled class for all of next week. I dont know what is up but this isnt like her and with finals only weeks away and a lot of information still to cover something bad has to be happening in her life. Please just pray for God to move in her life. I dont think shes saved so maybe pray that God reveals himself to her as well in this time.
Christians believe being transgender a sin but how would they counsel a transgendered person? And tell them to repent...Would the church expect them to have another sex change to what they originally had from birth? Or expect them to continue living as the gender they feel they were born with only this time becoming saved and giving their life to christ? Was just curious because I know many of you are youth leaders...and probably counsel teens in your church about many diffrent issues. And since you believe gay,lesbian,bisexual,and transgenders will not see the kingdom of God...What would be your method of helping this person through christ? This question was lingering in my mind today when I was thinking about ex-gay ministries...What do they do with the transgendered people?...
DISCLAIMER:: This is just a question I am asking to put myself in your shoes...I do not believe being lesbian,gay,bisexual, or transgendered is a sin or is wrong...just trying to understand how the christians on this forum think
I personally think that it may actually be a birth defect. Hermaphrodites had one part of their body develop one way while another part developed another way. Who are we to say that their body didn't develop away from the gender their mind is? I think this may just be a physical problem that's so taboo that people declare it a sin. I could be wrong, but I think there are times we need to not put people in boxes when we don't have the answers.
So many feel that you have to have a verse of some sort to have a christian shirt. How do you guys feel about the clothes you wear? do they need to have a verse or can they just be somewhat biblical? Lecrae has a t-shirt that is nothing more than the Rehab album logo. Most Non-believers have no idea what it is. Is it okay to still call that a Christian shirt? does your shirt need to reach everyone or is it okay to have a shirt that Christians recognize and you know you can talk to? Why do you wear what you wear? Opinions?
It took me awhile but I found this article I once read that I believe goes along with this.
http://donmilleris.com/2011/01/05/is-church-life-stifling-your-creativity/
I think it would be awesome if ya'll had some kind of merchandise with the scripture from 1 Timothy 4:12! .... "Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity".... Its a real inspiration to young believers, to be remind that although they feel inexperienced and inadequate, the Lord is with them and has given the the strength to stand up and be the light which shines to others!!! ... It would be a great testimony for kids/teens to wear this in their schools, out in public, ect.
Go over to the Canvas Threads forum (canvasthread.com) and post it under ideas. You don't have to sign up, I believe your c28 account works there too. That's filled with designers.
You know you're Christian on a Monday when the one patient you have to work with in a period of over 15 minutes is attractive, and your wicked heart is knocking hole in one's of lust into the battlefield up in the ol' noggin. Guh, I need Christian best friends here -.-
HAPPENS TO WOMEN TOO! What's even harder for me is when I find myself lusting over a man I know is a strong Christian. I think at that point Satan is turning a spiritual attraction into something worldly to take your mind off God. I fall prey to it ALL the time. But the more you notice the battle the easier it is fight. Remember your spiritual armor!!
I'm at a part in English class where we're learning about Adolf Hitler. After his committed suicide, the people that helped him were blamed for some things that happen to the Jews, but to defend themselves, they claimed they were just taking orders since they would probably be killed if they didn't. That's where we had an essay about a man's quote. This man is Elie Weisel, and his quote was about keeping silent when act of inhumanity is taking place. His quote says that when one witnesses an act of wrong-doing and does nothing to stop it, or in other words, keeps silent, is just as bad as the person that is doing wrong. It's like saying that when a girl sees someone being beaten up but doesn't tell the police, what she did is just as bad as the person that is beating someone up.
It's like a coincidence that we had the topic for our essay because that's what is happening to me right now... I know something wrong is going on and it's really serious, but I don't know what to do. What does God want me to do?
I think keeping silent for self-preservation is wrong in most situations. But if your doing it to save the lives of many then it's different. I'll have to come up with a hypothetical to try to illustrate my point.
Have some of you heard about this weird even happening to people? Over time there has been many well documented cases about this happening to people. If you don't know what this is its when someone out of no where just catches on fire and starts burning. That's crazy in my eyes! What do you guys think of this? Anything spiritual, or just some unexplained event that happens to the body? I just think its crazy how someone can just catch fire instantly and be burnt up and die.
There was this one button I saw called the "Shelter Button" and I am not really into buttons, however, I do like iron on patches to put on my gear and I was wondering if C28 can actually make iron on patches after these designs, ESPECIALLY the Shelter Button, because that is such a rockin' design!
That would be really cool!! I love covering my stuff! I'd like to get a bunch of Christian patches to iron onto my laptop case. It looks to professional/briefcasey, which is in complete contrast to my laptop which is covered in Christian stickers.
how do you guys feel about christians who mosh. stage dive. and head bang? i listen to metal. soo i see this stuff all the time. but its at christian concerts. people stage diving. moshing. and head banging. now if anyone doesnt know what moshing is. its where a big bunch of people just jump around. and bang in to everyone. it can get pretty bad at non christian shows. but at impending doom shows they ask people to get on stage and jump off. or sing. or for today shows. everyone just bangs into everyone. but some people dont think its right to head bang. or mosh but do you think its ok? i do!
I'm not into it because it can be fatal. A guy died a couple years ago from being trampled. I don't have an issue with those who do as long they are mindful and respectful.
Do you believe that everything is black - or - white, or do you believe in shades of grey? Do you believe it's either of God or of the devil, or do you believe there's a middle ground?
The holy spirit has recently been teaching me on this subject, and I have my own view about it but first I'd really love to hear what you guys have to say about it.
I think when it comes to God it's black or white, but for us it's impossible. We will always be gray because even we can never have pure motives. That's why we need Jesus. This is kinda where the Law falls in. The Law was perfect we were unable to fulfill it. It was just a mirror that showed us how dirty we were. We needed Jesus to fulfill the Law and cleanse us. I'm a little unfocused so I'm not sure I'm even making sense. I think these lyrics fit what I mean:
"Oh! precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus."
I know some of us are inclined towards the arts, and I was interested in reading them :) This is a five minute poem I just made up. My friend, J, asked me why I wanted to "beautifully broken" tattooed on myself. This is the quick, but heartfelt reply.
The heart is broken, the soul shattered.
With arms wide open, He holds me.
The tears fall, like raindrops on the petals of roses
And He catches them, thinking each a precious memory.
The body aches, and the spirit is lonely,
Yet He is there, waiting patiently for my submission.
I stumble; I fall, and can only look up.
The courage, the bravery: a façade.
The smile hides the pain and the laughter disguises depression.
Alone at night, the tears, the sorrow surrounds me.
I feel so lost, alone, and broken.
He demands my submission, my being, my brokenness
And He accepts it, calling it beautiful.
He holds me as I feel alone. He kisses my tears away, loving me unconditionally.
He patches my spirit together with His love, and He mends my heart.
He tells me I am a woman of worth; He loves me, regardless of my sins.
As He restores my soul, I begin to understand.
In this state of pain, loneliness, vulnerability, I am tired and humble,
I give Him what He has wanted all along: me and nothing else.
He wants me to be submissive to Him, to give Him my all, scarred though it is.
He wants my shattered soul, and He calls me “beautifully broken”.
WARNING!!! This was written before I came back to Christ and was having a really hard time fighting with the lies in my life at the time. BUT I think it illustrates spiritual battle really well. I wrote this two weeks before ODing on a 300 count bottle of aspirin. The lies in someones life can truly destroy them! Luckily God never stopped caring and I learned that He is more than what I knew at the time I wrote this poem.
PS I'm not much of a poet, I prefer to use pencils to illustrate my emotions more than words but sometimes when I'm depressed I start rhyming....badly!!! Haha!! Don't expect graceful flow or rhythm in the following poem because you won't find much of it!
__________________
I cut myself and start to cry.
I do not want to live or die.
This hollow life is getting bad,
the lies are all I know and have.
No matter how long I cry or pray
I watch my hope slowly drift away.
I don't know why I believe that lie,
that I'll find the answer through suicide.
I shut it out, I say "Go away!"
I pray and pray and pray and pray!
"God help me now, show me your love,
Send to me your pearl white dove."
It hurts so bad, I try and try,
but all I hear is that stupid lie.
"Shut up! Please stop! I'm worth much more!"
But I feel so dirty, such a worthless whore.
"Devil you have no right to be here!"
But he laughs and fills my heart with fear.
"No, your wrong, I've got God on my side!
Now turn away, go run and hide!"
Again he laughs, but walks away.
To him it's another game to play.
Through out the day I feel God's joy,
but when I sleep I'm Satan’s toy.
He haunts me, he hurts me and leaves me in pain,
he tells me I'm worthless and going insane.
I wake up sweating, shaking and cold
but its getting too hard to break his hold!
I thought I was better, had God on my side,
I gave Him my heart but He decides to hide.
He said He'd never leave me, forsake me,
but the devil says "Your alone…not free."
My mind has been poisoned and I cannot heal.
Death and destruction is all I feel!
These dreams were only just the start
to remind me of my broken heart.
Deliverance is all I really need
to take away my desire to bleed.
But my hope is failing and hard to find.
I think I've finally lost my mind.
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